~I have tried to write you a love letter but that would make you real and everything real disappears.
I don’t know if I can stand another shattering of the Holy before me.
You tell me not to worry, to keep expanding gently, one word at a time.
“Take your time” you say. “Patience is a handmade quilt that will wrap your life in faith.
When you force your heart through your throat it shrinks. No wonder you are hungry.
You give away your feast before you yourself have been satiated.
Until your toes are full and your dance becomes a sacrament to everything your words cannot express.
Your voice will birth itself by tending the third sacred thing given you at birth. Your life,
is the house I live in and your entrance is showing up
with ripening, red mouthed lips from sipping my nectar.
Quivering lips with the names of all your once forbidden friends.
We know you love Her.
Every morning birdsong, Sundrop in the ocean, desert tundra mirror of your longing,
every fecund jungle rendering you feral, the river winding salmon wisdom through your bones.
And you are that river.
But know you are only as wide and deep in this Life as you allow your edges to soften and mix with Her clay.
Be molded by the same benedictions you sprinkle upon the Earth each day with your tears.
Keep following the bread crumb trail we placed together for this journey long ago.
It will lead you down the path towards the proposal to surrender your lonely hand
and take the One you have been forever searching for.
Lay down the pain of trying to give as much as you have received.
Your radical self love is the only gift that comes close to the blessing
that can shift the imminent griefs you fervently try to heal, into a salve
that heals Her scarred flesh